


Two Handfuls of Fun

by persephoneggsy



Series: FemRhack Fics [5]
Category: Borderlands (Video Games)
Genre: Cunnilingus, Dirty Talk, Escort Service, F/F, Fem!Handsome Jack - Freeform, Fem!Rhys, Genderbending, Groping, Jack's a Boob Woman and Rhys Is Exactly Her Type, Large Breasts, Lesbian Sex, Misunderstandings, Nipple Licking, Nipple Play, Older Woman/Younger Woman, Sex Toys, Strap-Ons, Vaginal Sex, Vibrators
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-24
Updated: 2020-03-24
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:02:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23287480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/persephoneggsy/pseuds/persephoneggsy
Summary: Jack, restless and horny, calls Helios's local escort service to send her a pretty girl to amuse herself with.The girl who shows up at her office is downright gorgeous, and only a little bit confused about why the hell Handsome Jack wants her to take her shirt off.
Relationships: Handsome Jack/Rhys (Borderlands)
Series: FemRhack Fics [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1647343
Comments: 6
Kudos: 99





	Two Handfuls of Fun

**Author's Note:**

> yeeeeah, more femrhack. i just love it so much u.u

* * *

Jack tapped her finger impatiently on her desk, her irritation growing with every second that dragged on. The executive on her holoscreen didn’t seem to notice, as he carried on his presentation with the same smarmy tone and insufferable tangents he‘d been using for the past hour. 

Jack felt annoyed. Annoyed, and restless. Normally she’d just shoot the executive and that would take care of it, but he wasn’t actually in the room with her, and this... didn’t feel like a murdery kind of problem anyway. 

She was horny. 

Not because of the executive -  _ fuck _ no. Jack’s taste was exclusively in her own sex; she just hadn’t had anyone to take care of her “urges” in a while. She and Nisha broke up months ago, and while there was the occasional fling here and there, Jack hadn’t had a good, hard fuck in long enough that it was starting to affect her at work. 

And that just wouldn’t do. 

With a huff, Jack hung up on the executive - briefly, she wondered how long he’d keep going until he realized she wasn’t there anymore. Then she pushed the meeting from her mind entirely, instead pulling up a long-since neglected number on her contacts and hitting call.

_ “Helios’s Pleasure Palace,” _ a female voice purred.  _ “What can we do fo-!” _

“It’s Handsome Jack,” Jack interrupted. “You know, your boss?”

The voice was quiet for a moment.  _ “Y-Yes, of course, Handsome Jack! W-What can we do for you, ma’am?” _

Jack let herself smile a little, pleased by the other woman’s nervousness. “I need a girl in my office, pronto. Make it quick.”

_ “C-Certainly, ma’am. Any specifications?” _

Jack hummed. “Just make sure she’s got big tits and a pretty face, and we’re golden.”

_ “Right aw-!” _

Jack hung up again, leaning back in her chair with a sigh. Normally she wouldn’t bother with an escort service, but... well, sue her, she’s feeling kinda lazy today. It would be no problem to go out and find some hot chick who would be more than happy to unbutton her shirt and let Handsome Jack go to town on her, but Jack didn’t feel like leaving her office. 

So there. 

In the meantime, she pulled up some porn on her holoscreen and played with herself for a bit, sticking a hand down her jeans. Then, about five minutes later, there was a knock at her door. 

_ That was quick,  _ she thought to herself, retracting her hand and wiping it clean on her thigh. The escort service was probably determined not to piss her off by making her wait. She appreciated the hustle. 

She pushed a button on her desk, which opened the large doors to her office. Not a second later, a female figure walked in. 

Jack’s eyes widened.  _ Damn.  _

They sent her a pretty one. A  _ really _ pretty one. She had a cute, innocent-looking face, with bi-colored eyes, blue and brown. The girl also had a yellow cybernetic arm, which - well, she didn’t know what an escort could possibly need cybernetics for, but  _ damn _ if it wasn’t all kinds of hot. 

The rest of her body was equally impressive. Supermodel legs that were shown off by a tight pencil skirt and cute kitten heels, wide hips and a skinny waist, but Jack quickly fixated on her favorite part - those  _ tits.  _

The escort was a size double d  _ at least, _ which Jack could tell even through the weird half-striped blouse she wore. The CEO licked her lips in anticipation, unaware of the hesitant expression on the escort’s face. 

“Um, Handsome Jack? Ma’am?” the escort asked timidly, taking a cautious step forward. 

Jack beckoned her to cross the length of the room, smirking as she hurried to obey. Her heels clicked against the smooth tile of Jack’s office, and up the steps, until she reached Jack’s desk. 

Mm. She was even prettier up close. Upon closer inspection, Jack realized that blue eye was an ECHOeye, and she had a grey neural port on her temple. She got a hell of a tricked-out escort. 

“What’s your name, dollface?” Jack asked. 

The escort startled. “I, ah... It’s Rhys, ma’am.”

She was awfully nervous. Must’ve been her first day - or, more likely, she was just intimidated by Jack’s overwhelmingly badass presence. 

“Well, Rhys, you are just what the doctor ordered.” Jack gestured her over. After a few moments’ hesitation, Rhys once again obeyed, walking around Jack’s desk until she was directly in front of the woman herself. 

Jack bit her lip and resisted the urge to groan. God, those breasts... 

“Alright, sweetheart, get to it. Lose the shirt.”

Rhys blinked. “W-What?”

“You hard of hearing or something?” Jack frowned, feeling annoyance flare up within her again. “Take off your shirt and let me see those puppies.”

Rhys, to Jack’s growing irritation, just kept staring at her. 

“Look,” Jack glowered, sitting up in her chair, “I’ve been having a rough day, cupcake. You don’t wanna make it worse, do you? So ditch the top and let’s get this show on the road.  _ Strip.” _

The escort jolted, spurred into action by Jack’s commanding tone. Her hands shot to her chest, hurriedly undoing her buttons. It wasn’t... as sexy as some other stripteases Jack had seen, but she found herself not caring as Rhys pulled off her blouse and revealed the glorious pale skin underneath. 

Those beautiful breasts were being held up by a cute and lacy yellow bra, the soft mounds jiggling a bit as Rhys moved to discard her shirt. The escort was blushing, her cheeks a rather attractive shade of pink. Not to mention those tattoos - blue swirled prettily on Rhys’s left arm, contrasting nicely with the pale shade of her skin. 

For a moment, Jack thought Rhys was a Siren, but the tattoos were too teal, and she liked to think she’d have noticed a Siren on her space station, so she opted instead to continue ogling the escort’s body. 

Jack hummed in approval, shifting in her chair. 

“Damn, those tits are nice... come on, princess.” She patted her legs. 

Rhys’s blush darkened, but she didn’t hesitate again, clambering into Jack’s lap as gracefully as she could manage. This close, Jack could smell her perfume - flowery, but not overpowering. It suited her. 

And with the new position of her legs, one knee on either side of Jack’s hips, her skirt had ridden up, only barely hiding her crotch. Jack glanced down, intrigued, but decided she could play down there later. For now...

She reached up, her big, tanned hands each cupping a breast. Rhys gasped, squirming in Jack’s lap. 

“H-Handsome Jack...”

“Just Jack is fine, baby girl,” the older woman murmured, fascinated with the escort’s breasts. They were so soft and supple. She gave an experimental squeeze, delighted by the small moan it drew from Rhys’s pretty mouth. 

“Sensitive, aren’t we?” she chuckled. Without warning, she slipped her fingers into Rhys’s bra and tugged it down, letting the escort’s breasts spill out over it, now bare to Jack’s hungry gaze. Pretty pink nipples, already hardening in the cool air of her office, greeted her. They were just begging for a hot mouth to warm them up. 

Jack pinched one nipple between her fingers, her gaze flicking up to see Rhys’s reaction. The younger woman didn’t disappoint, her face contorted into shy arousal, cheeks flushed and mouth open, a soft whimper escaping her lips. 

Jack felt her lower region grow hot and damp as she continued playing with the escort’s tits, her eyes trained on Rhys’s face, watching every twitch and sigh that she let slip. How the hell had Jack never seen this girl before?

Unable to hold herself back, Jack parted Rhys’s breasts and pitched forwards, burying her face in between them. Rhys gasped, her flesh hand coming to tangle its fingers in Jack’s hair; her cybernetic was clutching the arm of Jack’s chair. 

Jack groaned, relishing the feeling of her face being enveloped in warm softness. Even better, Rhys had started rocking her hips against Jack’s lap, adding some extra pressure that Jack greatly appreciated. 

Using her hands to push the escort’s tits together, Jack rocked her face from side to side, moaning in tandem with Rhys, who pushed Jack further in seemingly on impulse. 

“Mm...” Jack pulled back, already feeling leagues better than she had half an hour ago. “God, these are rockin’ tits. Well done, Rhysie.”

Rhys, whose blush had still not faded, swallowed thickly and averted her gaze. “T-Thank you, Han... J-Jack.”

“Aw, why so shy, baby?” Jack grinned, giving Rhys’s nipples a quick pinch - it earned a yelp and a soft glare from the younger woman. Jack liked that. 

“I’m - not shy,” pouted Rhys. “I just didn’t think this was going to happen today...”

“You complaining?”

“... No.”

“Good.”

And with that, Jack went right back in, rubbing her face on the nicest boobs she’d ever had the pleasure of holding. 

Rhys’s quiet gasps and moans encouraged her, as did the way the escort kept grinding down on her - she was definitely getting wet, and she imagined Rhys wasn’t much better off. 

She hoped her pussy was as pretty as the rest of her. 

Mostly for her own amusement, Jack blew a raspberry into the valley her face was smothered in, the resulting sound muffled but very clearly felt by Rhys, whose body tensed up. 

“Seriously?” came Rhys’s annoyed voice, which earned a laugh from Jack, who lifted her head to look up at her. 

“Couldn’t resist,” she smirked. 

Rhys’s pout deepened. “If you’re going to use your tongue, at least do something useful with it...”

_ Ooooh. _ “That a request, princess?”

“I...” 

The escort paused, horror dawning on her face as she realized what she’d done. She made a request of Handsome Jack, which most people would faint at even considering. 

But... Rhys was hot, and Jack was honestly enjoying watching her grow more confident through their encounter. 

So, naturally, she indulged the younger woman; she pushed her breasts together again, this time opening her lips wide and enveloping both nipples in her mouth. 

Rhys yelped at the sensation, the suddenness of it rendering her speechless yet again. Jack took advantage of that, laving her tongue over Rhys’s hard nipples, flicking and pressing against them, getting them thoroughly wet. 

She devoted a good few minutes to simply worshipping the younger woman’s breasts, squeezing the flesh mounds as she continued licking and sucking her nipples. Rhys certainly seemed to enjoy it, if her breathless moans and rocking hips were any indication. 

“Jack... Jack... please...” she whined. 

Jack released the nipples with a ‘pop’, humming in satisfaction to herself once she saw how pink and puffy they’d become. Yeah, that’s the good stuff. 

“You want something, baby?” she purred. 

“I...” Rhys’s eyes took a minute to focus on her. “I want...”

Apparently, she was too shy to say it. Instead, she lowered her cybernetic hand to her skirt and pulled it all the way up. It exposed her yellow panties, thoroughly drenched in wetness, which was dripping into Jack’s crotch. 

Fuuuck. Jack licked her lips. She looked back at Rhys and smirked. 

“You gotta use your words, sweetheart.”

Rhys whimpered. “Please, Jack...”

“Please what?”

“P-Please... touch my p-pussy.”

Jack growled, her lust spiking. “You got it, Rhysie.”

The older woman moved suddenly, picking a startled Rhys up and depositing her to sit on her desk. Then, in a flash, she tugged her panties down those capital-L Legs, exposing her wet and quivering pussy to the air. 

To Jack’s delight, it was just as pretty as the rest of her. 

“How are you  _ real, _ ” she found herself wondering, staring at Rhys with something akin to awe. She brought a hand up, gently stroking the side of Rhys’s cunt. The escort trembled, though she spread her legs wider with a moan. 

“Fuck,” Jack murmured. “I was just gonna finger you, but this gorgeous little thing deserves more, don’t you think?”

Not waiting for Rhys’s response, Jack sat back in her chair, scooting up so she could put her face nicely between Rhys’s spread legs. She was at optimal eating-out level, so she took advantage of that fact and planted a kiss on Rhys’s pussy, her tongue delving in just moments after. 

Rhys shrieked, her hips bucking up against Jack’s mouth. Jack licked her folds with steady, form strokes of her tongue, loving the taste of her sweet little escort. She brought her fingers up to hold Rhys open so she could lick deeper, earning yet more pleased moans and whispers of Jack’s name from the younger woman’s lips. 

“Yes, Jack, oh... god, yes,  _ yes, _ right there...!”

Jack probed a finger inside Rhys, exploring her silky walls together with her tongue. Rhys squeezed down on them, tight enough that it made Jack’s own cunt clench in arousal. 

“Okay,” Jack suddenly removes her mouth, panting as she fought to catch her breath. Rhys whined, moving her hips against the finger still inside her. 

“Noo... Jack, please, c’mon...!”

“Be patient, baby,” Jack muttered, fiddling with the digistruct device on her desk. With a blue shimmer, the object she wanted appeared beside it, and she grinned in victory. 

Rhys lifted her head, having heard the device turn on. “Wha... oh!”

She stared at the large, bright purple strap-on Jack was now putting on, having already undone her jeans to fit the vibrator inside snugly against her pussy. 

Jack smirked at her. “Ready to get fucked, Rhys?”

Rhys gulped, her gaze still fixated on the toy - Jack hoped the size of the strap wasn’t too intimidating. However, she didn’t have to worry; Rhys bit her lip and nodded, holding her own legs open in anticipation. 

“Yeah, that’s it...” Jack grabbed the lube in her desk’s upper drawer and spread a generous amount on the strap-on, and a little on Rhys’s already slick cunt. 

She rubbed the dildo between Rhys’s folds. Then, she flicked a switch at the base of it, which turned on the vibrator... both of them. 

Jack moaned, the steady, buzzing pressure in her cunt welcome after such a long period of teasing the escort. The dildo also started buzzing, to Rhys’s surprise and evident delight. 

“Y-Yess...” Rhys threw her head back. “Fuck me, Jack...!”

Oh, she intended to. Still, it was hot to hear Rhys ask. 

“Ask me again, nicely,” Jack teased, pushing only the tip of the strap against Rhys’s entrance. 

Rhys writhed, mewling pitifully. “Please, Jack, I want you to fuck me! I need it, I need  _ you, pleasepleaseplease-!” _

Well, what kind of monster would Jack be to say no to that?

She thrust all the way inside in a single motion, the dildo disappearing completely inside Rhys’s lovely pussy. Both Jack and Rhys moaned obnoxiously loud. 

Jack started moving with small, hard thrusts, rocking her hips against the vibrator inside the strap-on. She heard the wonderful sounds of fucking - the wet sucking noise as she fucked into the younger woman, the dull buzzing that would get loud and then fade again as it went inside her. 

The sights, though. 

Aside from the beautiful sight of Rhys’s cunt stretched wide around the vibrating dildo, there was the downright heavenly picture her tits made. As Jack’s thrusts became longer and more powerful, Rhys’s breasts swayed with the movement, bouncing erotically up and down her body. 

Jack groaned, grabbing Rhys’s hips to pull her back harder on the dildo. She saw Rhys’s toes curl and heard a loud scream - she must've hit a good spot. 

“Jaaack!”

“Yeah, there we go, Rhysie. God, you’re so fucking good, I’m gonna fuck the shit out of you...!”

Jack continued her brutal pace, her grip on Rhys’s skin hard enough to leave bruises. Her office was filled with the sounds of sex, echoing all throughout the large space. But Jack’s focus was entirely on the sexy young thing on her desk. 

Rhys had grabbed her own breasts, both flesh and cybernetic fingers sluttily pinching her own nipples in an effort to get closer to her orgasm. Her eyes were rolled back, pink mouth wide open with every moan, tongue slipping out over her lips. The mere sight of her nearly did Jack in. 

The urge to kiss Rhys overwhelmed her - and since Jack was never one to deny an impulse, she did. She leaned over Rhys, not halting her pace, and pressed their mouths together. 

Rhys responded immediately, sliding her tongue against Jack’s like she’d been wanting to do it all day. They kissed roughly but thoroughly, swallowing each other’s moans as Jack fucked them both closer to climax. 

Jack came first, right as they broke the kiss, and Rhys gave her lips a protesting nip. She shuddered, her thrusts growing uneven and sloppy, though this didn’t seem to bother Rhys - the younger woman came not too long after, arching her back off the desk with a loud wail of Jack’s name. 

Jack barely had the energy to turn off the virbrators, feeling boneless and relaxed for the first time in... in… 

God, she can’t remember the last time she felt so calm. 

Rhys was equally blissed out; she sprawled all over the desk, her head flopped to one side as her chest heaved with every heavy breath. 

Jack gathered her into her arms and sat them both back on the chair, now in the original positions. Rhys didn’t stir, even though Jack hadn’t bothered to remove the dildo inside her. Apparently, Rhys came hard enough that she passed out. 

Jack preened smugly.  _ Damn, _ she was good. 

Just as she contemplated waking Rhys up - whether to go another round or to ask her out to dinner, she hadn’t decided - another knock came at her door. 

Ugh. Jack, minding Rhys’s unconscious form, pushed the button for the door and put on her best “what-the-fuck-do-you-want” face on. Which was a little hard, given the post-orgasm bliss and all, but she tried. 

“What,” she growled to the woman who stepped through. A very pretty woman, mind you, dressed in fishnets and a skimpy dress and heels. 

The woman looked confident, right up until she noticed the naked Rhys in Jack’s arms. 

“I... I’m from the Pleasure Palace, ma’am?”

Jack blinked. “Are you?”

The woman nodded. “You called us an hour ago?”

Jack looked between her and Rhys, who was still blissfully unaware of the extra presence. She had the cutest sleeping face, Jack noticed fondly. 

Even if she, apparently, wasn’t a prostitute. Whoops. At least that explained why she was so shy earlier. 

Come to think of it, she had been expecting a report from the Propaganda department shortly after her meeting with Executive Jerkoff. 

Jack quickly went to her holoscreen and closed out the porn window, ignoring the escort woman’s irritated look as she glared at Rhys. 

Aah. There she was, right in Jack’s schedule. ‘Accept reports from Rhys Priddy, Propaganda, 2:25 pm.’

Jack snorted. Heh. ‘Priddy.’

“Should I come back later?” The escort woman cut through Jack’s thoughts, impatiently tapping her foot against the floor. 

Jack gave her a scrutinizing look. She was definitely pretty, and her tits were big, too. But she was nowhere near as gorgeous as Rhys. 

“Nah, get out.” Jack waved one hand dismissively, while the other stroked down Rhys’s back. The young woman shifted, murmuring Jack’s name with a soft smile twitching at her lips. 

Jack felt her heart skip a beat.  _ Ah, shit.  _

The woman gasped, looking offended. “Handsome Jack, I-!”

She was cut off as Jack drew her gun from her holster and aimed down the sights, directly at her head. 

“Get. Out,” she hissed. 

Fortunately, that time, she listened, scampering from the CEO’s office with little more than a squeak of fear. 

Jack snickered, reholstering her gun just as Rhys blearily opened her eyes. 

“J... Jack...?”

“Hey, cupcake,” smiled Jack. “Have fun?”

Rhys blushed, but she smiled, too. “I-I did... wow. I really wasn’t expecting that...”

“You’re just too sexy to resist,” Jack said, kissing her temple, near the port. Rhys shivered, which Jack took note of. “How about a round two later? Maybe after dinner, eight-ish?”

Rhys giggles cutely. “Okay. It’s a date.”

Jack resisted the very reasonable urge to fist pump, and instead helped Rhys fix herself up, redressing her and maybe kissing her a lot more than was necessary. When Rhys finally left the office, it wasn’t before she had a blossoming hickey that couldn’t be hidden by her blouse’s collar, and Jack’s personal number written on her flesh wrist. 

Jack sighed contentedly, sinking back into her chair. She could still smell Rhys’s flowery perfume lingering in the air. 

Hopefully Rhys wouldn’t be mad when Jack told her she thought she was an escort at first... Nah, why would she be? She got to bang Handsome Jack, after all. 

Still. Maybe a present would make her happier. Rhys seemed like the kinda girl who liked pretty shoes, Jack could start there. 

She pulled up a fancy store’s website on her holoscreen, already finding herself impatiently waiting for eight o’clock later that night. 

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> just so yall know, the whole time i was writing this i had that one tumblr post stuck in my head like 
> 
> 'i got this new anime plot. basically theres this high school girl except shes got huge boobs. i mean some serious honkers. a real set of badonkers. packin some dobonhonkeros. massive dohoonkabhankoloos. big old tonhongerekoogers'
> 
> and now you must all live with the knowledge that all those names are definitely things Jack has called Rhys's boobs
> 
> you're welcome


End file.
